On January 24th, 2021, my college class went on the first trip together (and maybe the last one) to Ba Vi - the suburb of Hanoi. After almost three years of studying together, we all agree that we need a bonding trip to get to know each other better before graduation. We had all the essentials of a memorable trip - BBQ party, alcohol, music, board games, selfies, and stories. I don't know about you, but the storytelling session is what I most expect in any bonding/ teambuilding trip, as I firmly believe that stories connect people and bind us to each other. Listening to a lot of stories from my classmates, I realized how lucky I was to be a member of my class and to have the chance to know many brilliant millennials - a.k.a my classmates. Though I'm dying to write all the stories I've heard from thirty people, I could only jot down some of them, as my memory is quite blurry and fuzzy due to alcohol and white night. I'm sure the other stories have dwelled in some parts of my brain, and I will recall them on the other days eventually.
But now, without further ado, let's meet some of my friends and see what they have taught me through their life experiences!
Meet Huyen, Lien, and Vananh Le - who have always been by my side, trusted me and loved me unconditionally from the very first days of college. No matter how happy, angry, moody, or crazy I am, they're still there for me, willing to be happy, angry, moody, and crazy with me. We have been through so much together that I couldn't even imagine how miserable my college life would be without them. We don't need either countless group selfies to prove our closeness or routined coffee chats to get to know each other. 15-minute breaks between lessons and group chatting after school are all we need to feel loved and cared for. These three wonderful girls helped me realize that: To be friends, we don't need glory. Friendship is a simple story.
Meet Kien "cookie" - the one who often puts other's needs before his own ones. However, soon he acknowledged that being a selfless giver did him more harm than good. He has often exhausted himself physically and mentally to make anyone around content, especially his loved ones since he believed that seeing them happy would make him happy. But guess what? It's WRONG! With hindsight, Kien realized that seeking validation from others and ignoring his own needs never make him happy. From now on, he decided to shift his focus and energy from outward to inward, love, and care more about himself. Listening to his stories, I took away a lesson for myself - putting myself first doesn't mean I don't care about the others. It means I'm smart enough to know I can't help others if I can't help myself first.
Meet Ha Phanh - the monitor of my class. I would prefer to call her "miss Phanh," not only because of her chic style but also because she had the most life experience than all of us combined. However, despite her admirable emotional maturity, not all of her relationships are perfect, especially romantic ones. From her experience, she advised me: "Be careful with who you trust. The more you trust someone, the more they mean to you. Therefore, when they leave, you are nothing but a broken soul. I'm not saying you should overthink when jumping into a relationship, but it's better to have a back-up plan for your emotional well-being when things don't work out."
Meet Hoang Duc Minh - one of very few "multipotentialites" that I've ever met so far. FYI, a multipotentialite is someone with many interests and creative pursuits. He can learn new things incredibly rapidly. When Minh becomes interested in something, he goes hard with it until his interest fades off. Due to his broad knowledge of various topics, talking with him is so captivating and also thought-provoking. For me, Minh is not only a good speaker but also a great listener, which explains why many people come to him to share their story, to ask for advice, or sometimes just to have "a shoulder to cry on."
"What should I do to listen to others better?" - I asked.
"Just keep your mouth shut and your ears open. Don't try to solve people's problems if they don't directly ask, don't try to impress people with your judgments; just listen! More often than not, being heard without being judged is all people need." - He replied.
(to be continued)
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